This whole morning I’ve been thinking about rhythms.
At first I was lamenting in my journal about how hard it is to find them, keep them and make them part of who I am. This is especially true when my husband and I are BOTH self-employed and rarely have daily routines imposed on us. Most people probably think it would be easy when we have such flexible schedules, to get into our own rhythms. But did you catch the optimum word in the preceding sentence…flexible? Our schedules bump into each other a lot. And the very freedoms we have are often the ones that keep us bound to the “urgent” call or the invitation to lunch or the minor domestic crisis that beckons to be fixed right now…after all…we have the time.
After my lamentations, I put my journal down and began a time of listening prayer, rhythmically asking God to “come to me like the gentle rain” that was filling my consciousness. How grateful I was to have a cool, sunless morning, giving up its moisture to fill the dry cracks in the ground. Then I noticed the comfortable movement I’d settled into on the porch swing, and how each back-swing hit one leaf of Virginia creeper vine, making its way up the brick through the cracks in the deck. A lovely moment of rhythms, when I asked God to come fill the dry cracks in my own heart, to help me see the rhythms right in front of me or that might be already in my soul, unnoticed. The rhythms of writing. The rhythms of prayer. The rhythms of nature walks. The rhythms of creativity, and all the other passions that fill my heart.
Most of the time I try so hard to look at it all rationally…planning out on 50 different calendars what might be the best time to do this or that. Should I find one whole day to write…or just do it an hour or two every morning, or evening or afternoon? When is the best day to run errands, do laundry, work on projects, etc? Oddly, this has been a struggle for most of my life as a married woman without children, and one never cut out as a career gal, even though I have certainly recognized patterns in my life. I am a night person (although that may have changed over the years, which makes things even more confusing). I have very inspirational thoughts when I first wake up. I need to make out a list in the evening or else I can’t go to sleep, which really means I like to get any tasks and chores done before I can enter into any kind of creativity or rest. Yet, sadly, these clues haven't fully set me on the path of more balance.
But today I practiced something I recently learned while kayaking in Alaska...and just went with the flow of it all! On this morning, like all other mornings, I had my list planned out…but chucked it…and rearranged the furniture so I could sit in my rocking chair facing the patio door, listen to the thunder and write. Was this an answer to my prayer? I don’t know. But I do know I was reminded that overcoming my fear of kayaking meant to stop reacting to the various shifts and tilting of the watercraft, and just "move with the movement." This meant not being so rigid in my posture and to embrace the surprise wave that rocked the boat. In essence, maintaining balance in a kayak, means moving with it gracefully when it becomes unbalanced. And the key to doing that is having faith in the craft. So maybe I need to practice the spiritual art of “planning my way” but letting the Spirit “direct my steps,” which I see requires much more tuning in and listening, like I did this morning in stillness. In one of my favorite movies, Contact, there is a simple yet profound line about accomplishing our desires. It is spoken at the beginning and the end of the story to Ellie by her father. First as a young girl when she is trying to find a connection to any other human being on a HAM radio set, and later as a scientist when she is trying to connect with an alien who has taken the form of her father, he says the same thing, “Small steps, Ellie, small steps.”
Good words. Small, faith-filled, rhythmic steps…
What do you do to maintain balance in your life?
How do you listen to the direction of the Spirit?
3 comments:
I really like the kayak comparison. That is great.
As a married woman WITH children, I find the rhythms difficult. Everyone is beating their own drum, some kids together, some running away from the other beats. My job is to orchestrate or help them find their rhythms, or even to develop them. That has too much to do with routines they have to develop, like not waiting to be told to get dressed, eat, brush hair, make beds and to get them done right away so they can do the "fun" things of their days. It is almost like I have to tap the drum for them so they can see the advantage. As for finding my own, it helps me to just get out of the house. I cannot hear my own pattern while all the others are going on. Maybe that is why things feel so chaotic, and why vacations are so important. I long to get away with all my family, so we can all be on the same beat and enjoy the dance.
Your reflections are still and very refreshing to me...the kind of refreshment that comes from nature. Keep writing whenever you decide to do so! I also think you're on to something...some of us do have natural rhythms that we're unaware sometimes it's changing them that's difficult.
What a perfect post for my day, one in which I must listen and adjust to God's rhythyms for me. (That word is as hard to spell as it is to do--and I'm sure I spelled it wrong!).
And how "coincidental" that I linked to you on the WCP for today--as if this is right where God wanted me! Thank you for your part in this intriguing walk with Him.
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