FALL SABBATICAL 2011

Monday began my week-long fall sabbatical for the year.  I try to take an extended time of solitude at Prairie Pond Woods at least twice a year in the spring and fall. I do it for two reasons; one, so that I can de-stress, write, enjoy nature, commune with God and find my heart’s desire again (like Dorothy’s journey to Oz).  The second reason is to encourage others to do the same.  I’m convinced people need, and deep down want, time to be alone, to ask themselves the genuinely important questions and to soak in the inspiration from the wonder and beauty of nature.  Our society just simply doesn’t honor these endeavors.  Not flashy enough!  Too self-indulgent!  Too scary, maybe?  

There are only a handful of people in my circle of friends and acquaintances that I know of who take intentional time away from their lives…not to go on vacation (which is also important)…but to go somewhere lovely (or a hotel if that’s all you got) to focus on their inner life and listen to what God might be quietly saying within the sound of silence. 

 

So, for inspiration, this week I’ll be posting my sabbatical experiences.  I realize most people can’t take an entire week off of work or running a household to do this.  But I’m equally convinced most folks could take a weekend or a day, if we value and plan for it.  At the end of this week, Heart By Nature is facilitating a retreat on how to simplify life, clarify values we hold in our hearts and plan a year (literally on a calendar!) that will yield the most fruit and peace.  I call it a “Personal Phenology,” phenology being the study of what happens, where and when in the natural world.  It is a principle that can be applied to our own goals, rhythms and circumstances.

I hope you will visit here during the week to catch a vision for what one can experience when there is no TV, high-speed internet, phone calls, obligations or people (even the little ones you love so much) talking at you all day. Perhaps sharing thoughts that came while walking The Refresher Course, or insights from a half-hour of listening prayer or photos from the 27-acres here at Prairie Pond Woods will encourage you to approach the new year differently…with more intention and more time spent living the call of God in your life.



Sincerely,

 

Cindy

A PSALM

I am happy to be in this place, 

loosened from the chains of rigid thinking 

and set free into the large, looming mystery of God.  

I am happy to have struggled so hard

to get to this place of healing, and for so long.  

I know now that the struggles are not in vain 

and that, in fact, mold me 

to a more compassionate self.  

Jesus, you did not come to this world 

to heal those who are well, 

but to those who are sick. 

Because the sick cannot, 

by the very nature of their sickness, 

take care of themselves.  

Because the depressed cannot,

by the very nature of their depression,

pull themselves up by their bootstraps.  

Because the poor,

by the very nature of their poverty,

have few options in a world that shuns them.

I am none of these at present.  

But I have been very sick at times, 

and walked with a friend through an illness

that lead to death...our prayers useless.  

I have been depressed many times, 

feeling a sadness and self-loathing 

that none who cared for me could ever understand.  

And I have felt trapped by low-income, 

and wondered how those who begin with deficits I did not-

born into poverty, ignorance and cultural hopelessness 

-ever overcome it all.

But mostly I have been molded by the struggle 

against feeling unworthy to God, 

planted there at an early age by authorities in my life 

who did not understand the nature of perfect love either.  

This lie, sometimes conscious, most times unconscious, 

bore within my soul a desperate longing, 

a sad and dark view, often unable to see light,

and left me impoverished of joy.

I praise God who did not leave my side in the struggle.  

Who sent me friends and teachers and books,

and movies and songs 

and allowed me to set aside 

all the groups and doctrines and beliefs for a time, 

so that in the end I could embrace the true Word 

and walk, Spirit hovering, down a narrow path of healing.  

Make me an instrument of your Peace...

Amen

BREEDING BIRD SURVEY

The survey for the Ohio Breeding Bird Atlas officially ended for the summer on August 31 as the last "safe date" (dates which help distinguish between a species that breeds locally or one that is migrating north)for collecting data.  Last night I entered all my data for the 10-square mile radius in and around the town of Lynx and Prairie Pond Woods.  The survey for the year begins on January 1 with the Rock Pigeon and ends with the Great Horned Owl, which actually begins recordable breeding behavior in late December!  Some of the last birds to be seen in the summer tending nests or fledglings are the Northern Cardinal, Carolina Wren and American Goldfinch. 

It is such an honor and so much fun to be able to participate in this 5-year survey.  Data will be collected, reviewed and documented for all 4,437 atlas blocks in Ohio.  The purpose of the atlas is to access changes in breeding distribution, identify and protect important breeding locations and their habitats and collect further data on rare or endangered species.  The survey was last conducted in 1982 with the first atlas publication in 1987.  My block in Lynx had no "owner" back then (someone who commits to survey a block), so there was limited survey information and little for me to compare.  

So far, I've recorded a total of 80 possible, probable or confirmed species breeding in my block. I still have to get out after the Winter Solstice and call in some Horned Owls from the woods!  I'll let you know if I get 81!

NEIGHBOR'S GARDEN (a poem)

I came to pick up the vacation paper

And suddenly, I am on a safari.

Morning breezes usher out the haze,

Open stage for all winged creatures,

Black vulture and hummingbird,

Monarchs with Viceroy twin.

All around me, movement, like random, diving

leaves after an early autumn frost.

Lost among the Black-eyed Susans,

Pearl Crescents rise like a wave as the wind stirs.

A dragonfly charges me, defending new prey.

How odd to see the tables turned on a yellow jacket.

 There are few fragrances this late in summer,

just the heavy smell of heat rising.

Sounds of August music ebb and flow,

With background static of cicadas.

But there is no shortage of color-

Soaring, gliding,

             Fluttering, basking,

                            Launching and landing...

    ...I’d go deaf if I could hear their wings beat.

 Cindy Steffen - August 2009

All photos from Prairie Pond Woods

OCTOBER 22, 2011 RETREAT

Now you know who you are.  We run in to each other and you say, "I really need to make it down to your place for a retreat someday."  I say, "Yes, that would be great," not wanting to put a lot of pressure on you because I know life is hectic and it's hard to get away.  But now, girlfriend, I'm going to have to publicly embarrass you by telling, in front of all these readers, that your last chance of the year is coming up soon! 

This spring Heart By Nature offered women a chance to Explore what the Psalms call their "innermost being."  In summer the theme was Encouragement-ourselves and one another. This Autumn retreat focuses on Empowerment in our everyday lives, as we create a personal plan for the upcoming year, built around:

Our passions

(What do I REALLY want next year?)

Our limitations

(How can I learn to say No or This will have to do?)

Our own rhythms

(School, work, family, holidays?)

Natural rhythms

(Daily, monthly, seasonal, etc?)

Our Spiritual Gifting

(What is God calling me to in 2012?)

Yes, my friend, October is the PERFECT time to leave the routine, change your venue and come to a place where the colorful hills will wrap you in their beauty and give you a gift to take home.  This is the PERFECT time of the year to review last year's successes and not-so-much's, and plan the coming year's days and months in ways that make more sense and create more meaning.  This is the PERFECT time of the year to don that comfy sweater and hang with your girlfriends in the woods...or on the back deck...or inside on the couch...depending on your degree of Wild Woman-ness.  

So, I'm sorry I had to bring this up in front of everyone...but I did it because I care about you.  Call me.

LOVE...cindy

937-532-6688

Find out more

www.heartbynature.com

www.facebook.com/heartbynatureretreats

Friends enjoying last Autumn's Retreat!

RENEWING THE MIND

Recently I finished a 4-week class called, Wired for Joy, where participants are taught a method of retraining their brains, also known as Emotional Brain Training or EBT. I took the class partly as a favor to a friend and partly because I have always been interested in the human body, especially the brain and how it works. I suppose I see it as just another natural ecosystem that either works together or doesn’t, depending on the health of the individual parts or what elements we introduce in to it from without.  

The premise of the class, which is also supported by much brain research, is that our brains have neural pathways which are “set” from a young age. This “wiring” sets us up, by varying degrees, to spend our minutes, hours and days in either a joyful brain state or one dominated by stress, depending on our early circumstances or parenting, etc. Since it is a scientific fact that our brains cannot experience both joy and stress simultaneously, the exercises help us create new pathways that, when practiced, begin to replace the old.

Most of the exercises taught for rewiring the brain involve interrupting states of stress by regularly stopping throughout the day to take note of what you are feeling. After that, to ask yourself what you need in order to return to a more joyful state and to replace the negative thoughts you are having with other thoughts…or new, healthy neural pathways. Towards the end of the training, participants are also encouraged to take 10 minutes out of their day to meditate, which can involve repeating affirmations, visualizing yourself in a safe and beautiful place or rehearsing the things you are grateful for. One of the most interesting things I learned from this training is that the brain does not distinguish, at least in terms of brain waves and centers stimulated, real places and situations from those we merely visualize. This is one of the reasons meditation can be so powerful in reducing stress in the short term until underlying causes can be more fully addressed. Breaking the downward cycle of stress is important because a person cannot create healthy solutions while in a constant state of stress.

Before taking this class, I had begun practicing the spiritual discipline of Listening Prayer in the mornings. I’d begin by repeating a scripture or my paraphrase of a scripture to allow the cobwebs, the to-do lists, etc to vanquish. One particular morning it struck me how this kind of prayer, and prayer in general, is really a brain-train exercise that rewires or “renews our mind” over time. I thought about the prayer Jesus prayed as an example, and how it is really a series of affirmations…God is bigger than us…God wants to create a world of peace and love through us…God can meet our needs…God forgives us so we can forgive others…God can deliver us from ourselves and protect us. Good messages I’d like etched into my mind.

But prayer can be a complex and confusing topic. Theologians, scholars and other sincere spiritual seekers have grappled with exactly what a prayer is, what kinds of prayers are most effective, what does an “answer” to prayer look like, etc. Some say prayer changes God’s mind or moves God to action. Some say prayer doesn’t really accomplish any change. And some say prayer changes us. I like what Mary Oliver says in her poem, The Summer Day.

"I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

This is a woman who has trained her brain to land on the thoughts that give her joy. She takes the time needed to experience her particular life’s pleasures, and to ask the important questions of herself and those around her. I’m guessing the poetry in her soul formed over a lifetime of connecting to God through much prayer and meditation.

Recently, at a conference, one of the speakers made a statement that I thought was profound. He said that stopping - merely stopping and paying attention - during the course of our busy day is a form of repentance. Repentance, meaning to “turn around” or “go in a different direction” is truly the action of surrendering our busyness to remember God, to take inventory of our spiritual state, to release our unrealistic expectations, to be grateful and to pray for others. This is usually the antithesis of where most of us are really headed in our auto-pilot states.

So, prayer does change us, if nothing else, especially the prayers that recall God’s provision in the past and those that whisper back to us the truth of God’s love towards us and the world. Each time we speak of love, of forgiveness, of praise for God’s Creation, of our gratefulness we are creating new wiring in our brains, ones that replace the old circuits of fear, bitterness, mediocrity and discontent. This class gave me a greater understanding of what happens when my spirit dictates my thoughts and/or my thoughts dictate my spirit. How cool and humbling to know that there is an actual physical manifestation of my attitude…whether good or bad. It also gave me a greater desire to explore prayer in all its many forms. And it reminded me of the advice given to the church at Phillipi by Paul.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

FEELING GRATEFUL

When we bought the cedar house and 27 acres we now call Prairie Pond Woods back in 2006, there was no way of knowing what a gem we were purchasing.  Almost everything except the woods had been mowed down to the ground, so it seemed mostly like pastureland surrounding the house. But looking back, we must have had an inkling that good things would spring from the ground because it was never on our radar screen to buy just fields of fescue.

The Saturday the state botanist and two others from Ohio Wesleyen came to do a survey of the flora, our suspicions were confirmed. I'm not sure what prompted the call asking if they could come down from Columbus, but I'm glad they did.  While it is not going to be designated a national landmark or turned into a state nature preserve any time soon, the land possess some notable features...and more importantly...an abundance of diverse beauty.

I know it may be hard for some to understand how people such as us could be so interested in a plot of land that we would spend 31/2 hours in 90-plus degree weather walking at a snails pace staring at the ground...but it is actually more than an interest...it is a love.  It is the love of ecology...knowing how life fits together and is interdependent. It is the concern for preserving species after the that knowledge has been gathered.  It is the joy and art of developing a "sense of place" and understanding the rhythms of the habitat we share with God's other created things.

 

Over the last 5 years I've learned many things about my little plot of land - from what kind of bedrock is under my feet to what forages in the high canopy of oaks.  I'm learning the dynamics of when the wildflowers bloom and under what conditions. Or when they set seed and how they're dispersed.  I take note each year of the date the Yellow-breasted Chat shows up with its crazy mating call.  I wait patiently over the winter for the magical evenings when the spring peepers at the pond are so deafening, fifteen minutes is about all I can take.

Now I've learned how rare the Tall Larkspur are in Adams County, and so maintaining the little patch on the shady slope they're thriving on is a new priority.  One new discovery was also made on the property, an inconspicuous vine called, Green-Passionflower and another one was correctly identified as Angle-pod, a vine in the Milkweed family.

All in all, 160 species were identified, nine that are on the state Watch List and three that are considered Potentially Threatened.  I'm really grateful to these good folks for taking time out of their weekend to come to Prairie Pond Woods.  I'm also grateful to be able to take care of this land and continue to fall in love with the beauty and joy it brings.

RHYTHMS

This whole morning I’ve been thinking about rhythms.

At first I was lamenting in my journal about how hard it is to find them, keep them and make them part of who I am. This is especially true when my husband and I are BOTH self-employed and rarely have daily routines imposed on us. Most people probably think it would be easy when we have such flexible schedules, to get into our own rhythms. But did you catch the optimum word in the preceding sentence…flexible?  Our schedules bump into each other a lot. And the very freedoms we have are often the ones that keep us bound to the “urgent” call or the invitation to lunch or the minor domestic crisis that beckons to be fixed right now…after all…we have the time. 

After my lamentations, I put my journal down and began a time of listening prayer, rhythmically asking God to “come to me like the gentle rain” that was filling my consciousness. How grateful I was to have a cool, sunless morning, giving up its moisture to fill the dry cracks in the ground. Then I noticed the comfortable movement I’d settled into on the porch swing, and how each back-swing hit one leaf of Virginia creeper vine, making its way up the brick through the cracks in the deck. A lovely moment of rhythms, when I asked God to come fill the dry cracks in my own heart, to help me see the rhythms right in front of me or that might be already in my soul, unnoticed. The rhythms of writing. The rhythms of prayer. The rhythms of nature walks. The rhythms of creativity, and all the other passions that fill my heart.

Most of the time I try so hard to look at it all rationally…planning out on 50 different calendars what might be the best time to do this or that. Should I find one whole day to write…or just do it an hour or two every morning, or evening or afternoon? When is the best day to run errands, do laundry, work on projects, etc? Oddly, this has been a struggle for most of my life as a married woman without children, and one never cut out as a career gal, even though I have certainly recognized patterns in my life. I am a night person (although that may have changed over the years, which makes things even more confusing). I have very inspirational thoughts when I first wake up. I need to make out a list in the evening or else I can’t go to sleep, which really means I like to get any tasks and chores done before I can enter into any kind of creativity or rest. Yet, sadly, these clues haven't fully set me on the path of more balance.  

But today I practiced something I recently learned while kayaking in Alaska...and just went with the flow of it all! On this morning, like all other mornings, I had my list planned out…but chucked it…and rearranged the furniture so I could sit in my rocking chair facing the patio door, listen to the thunder and write. Was this an answer to my prayer?  I don’t know.  But I do know I was reminded that overcoming my fear of kayaking meant to stop reacting to the various shifts and tilting of the watercraft, and just "move with the movement."  This meant not being so rigid in my posture and to embrace the surprise wave that rocked the boat. In essence, maintaining balance in a kayak, means moving with it gracefully when it becomes unbalanced. And the key to doing that is having faith in the craft.

So maybe I need to practice the spiritual art of “planning my way” but letting the Spirit “direct my steps,” which I see requires much more tuning in and listening, like I did this morning in stillness.  In one of my favorite movies, Contact, there is a simple yet profound line about accomplishing our desires. It is spoken at the beginning and the end of the story to Ellie by her father.  First as a young girl when she is trying to find a connection to any other human being on a HAM radio set, and later as a scientist when she is trying to connect with an alien who has taken the form of her father, he says the same thing, “Small steps, Ellie, small steps.”

Good words. Small, faith-filled, rhythmic steps…

REFLECTION:  
What do you do to maintain balance in  your life? 
How do you listen to the direction of the Spirit?

I just returned from a trip to Alaska, which is why I have not been posting about Prairie Pond Woods or the upcoming Heart By Nature retreat on July 16.  We had a marvelous time and highly recommend the smaller cruise ships...the photos will explain why.

If you're interested, below is a link to 150 of the 2000 photos and videos we took.  There are some videos imbedded, and if you do the slide show, you may have to click on the screen when they come up.  I'll be posting a link soon to my personal blog with journal entries from the trip.  Enjoy!



https://picasaweb.google.com/artbynaturecindy/ALASKA2011?authkey=Gv1sRgCPSy-r7QkJ15&feat=directlink

PHOTOS FROM ALASKA

My husband and I recently returned from a trip to Alaska. If you are interested, below is a link to 150 of the 2000 photos and videos we took. Soon, I will be posting journal entries from that trip. Enjoy!

https://picasaweb.google.com/artbynaturecindy/ALASKA2011?authkey=Gv1sRgCPSy-r7QkJ15&feat=directlink