THE YEAR OF LIVING DARINGLY: Week Two

When I started this adventure of living for nine months at Prairie Pond Woods...feeling a little like Thoreau (and a little guilty)...I said I was ready to be "inconvenienced by the things I love."  As mentioned in the Week One post, sometimes we can put parts of ourselves on hold or let them die altogether because we allow other things in life take over. 



For me, this meant finally putting all my loves in one basket and seeing where they take me...FOCUSING on the "businistry" of Heart by Nature, spending time outdoors, raising my own food (chickens!), getting a dog (after being dogless for 7 years), writing, reading and helping women connect with their own heart's desires through nature.  


Could I have done this in my life up North?  Maybe, if I was a different person.  But the advantage of years is that we learn who we truly are and accept it. I am not a highly disciplined person...and I am definitely not a multi-tasker.  I am motivated by passion, not productivity...and I do well focusing on a few things at a time with lots of time for reflection. It is who I am. In a book I read recently, The Artist's Rule, I recognized myself in the author's description of an "artist-monk," a person who is drawn to and more fruitful within a contemplative and creative lifestyle.  So when I finally realized I was being inconvenienced more by things I didn't love...it was time to make a change.



So, the change has begun...sort of.  Week Two was less about contemplation and nature immersion and more about business marketing.  For the upcoming retreat, Birdwatching as Meditation, I learned (was inconvenienced by, actually) a new Email Marketing program through Vertical Response.  Hopefully, you received a copy of my labors in your email Inbox or through Facebook.  And when I wasn't staring down cross-eyed at my computer...I watched snow flurries and resident birds out the window.



The other task...as boring to me as it is to you...was the sorting of paperwork into piles, then purging, then putting those piles somewhere that makes sense.  Piles for retreat ideas and hand-outs, piles of natural history resources, piles for writing piles of journals, piles of my life...all sorted and condensed.  And a pile of books, brought to finally read...  

I'll share my non-exhaustive Book List, which might be a bit less boring to you.  These are books I've read since I've been here, books I'm reading (or listening to) now, books I plan to re-read and new books waiting on the shelf.  Do they all look a bit similar?  They are...I call it focused.



The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

The Secret Message of Jesus by Brian McLaren (and others not yet purchased)

Writing Down your Soul by Janet Conner

Listening to the Heartbeat of God: A Celtic Spirituality by J. Phillip Newell

Prayers from Iona by J. Phillip Newell

Nature as Spiritual Practice by Steven Chase

A Field Guide to Nature as Spiritual Practice by Steven Chase

The Artist's Rule by Christine Valter-Paintner

Anne of Green Gables by J.M. Montgomery (never read it as a child)

An Obsession with Butterflies by Sharman Apt Russell

On the Unseriousness of Human Affairs by James A. Schall

Spiritual Ecology by Rudolf Steiner

Holy Silence by J. Brent Bill

Newcomb's Wildflower Guide

Peterson Field Guide of Eastern Birds

Peterson Field Guide to Eastern Birds' Nests

Moth Field Guides, Insect Field Guides, Butterfly Field Guides, Etc.

AND...if I can get my hands on it anywhere:

Phytogeography of Unglaciated Eastern US and its Interpretation by E. Lucy Braun.

THE YEAR OF LIVING DARINGLY: Week One

Tomorrow brings us the Vernal Equinox for 2013...the first day of Spring...at 7:02 am EST.  For the northern hemisphere it marks the season of longer days and warmer temperatures - bringing back the animals, the colors, the vegetation...and the bringing forth the babies. The name comes from Latin meaning, "of the spring" and "equal night."  One of only two days during the year when the amount of daylight and dark is equal, and when the sun rises and sets exactly east and west. All over the
world a time of momentary balance. 



Seems to me that since there are so many cycles and rhythms...these gifts...in our natural world, we should take advantage of what they have to offer us symbolically, as ancient traditions used to do. It is not hard to imagine that spring is about new beginnings, so I have chosen tomorrow, Wednesday, March 20, to begin a new adventure at Prairie Pond Woods.



This past winter, I facilitated a group to discuss the book, Daring Greatly by Brene' Brown. It seemed to be a timely group for the nine women and myself; the readings and discussions being springboards for some of us to find the courage to reach for dreams that had been percolating inside us for years. 



I guess after a certain age, we begin to recognize and call things for what they are. We realize that some of our choices were made out of fear or not wanting to rock the boat or putting others way ahead of ourselves, leaving us with lives we truly didn't imagine...or at the least...hope will become more meaningful. This is all fairly normal. Some label all this analyzing and uncertainty a mid-life crisis. But others, like Fr. Richard Rohr, might call it a second-half-of-life-rise-in-consciousness. It's that very real time when, if you're willing to truly take stock of things, you begin to seek the answer to the exhortation in a quote by Howard Thurman:

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you
come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people
who have come alive."

So in our little rag-tag group of middle-aged women, two found the courage to return to college and one, after years of holding
on to a houseful of inherited possessions, decided to
lighten her life by giving most of it away to others.  Do you know how hard stepping out in to new territory or letting go of the familiar can be?  Yet they are willing to move forward, no matter how uncertain and unsettling, because they are ready to do a new thing that makes them come alive. 



For my part, I decided to stop living a divided and frustrated life to spend The Year of Living Daringly at Prairie Pond Woods.  Actually, it works out to about 40 weeks (the number for human gestation), from the Spring Equinox (March 20) to the Winter Solstice (December 21).  During this time I'll be laboring to bring forth more creative, business and spiritual fruit, while staying here full-time. I will continue working to restore the biodiversity of the land, as well as allow God to restore parts of me I misplaced along this interesting journey of life. 

One creative (and scary) goal is to work on a Young Adult fiction book I've had rattling in my head, as opposed to just thinking about it.  And to conceive another book of nature reflections for the soul, as I spend the spring, summer and fall developing a "sense of place" at Prairie Pond Woods...learning and listening as God speaks through it all.  Having kept a journal for most of my life, I know that writing is a powerful tool for healing, expression and change. Martin Luther once wrote, "If you want to change the world, pick up a pen (or in our case, a keyboard).  My books won't change the world, but they will bring about change in me, maybe inspire others to follow their dreams and hopefully be enjoyed by those who read them.  Small fruit.



Another focus during this period is to more intentionally build the "businistry" of Heart by Nature Retreats. When I think of what makes me "come alive," beyond being immersed in nature and creativity, it is the opportunity to share this place of peace and beauty, and provide tools for spiritual and emotional growth.  I am trusting that this year will be for you, as well as others:

A place women come to experience, learn about and appreciate the glorious wonder that surrounds us. On our nature walks, I tell group participants that if you learn the name of something you now have a relationship with it, becoming more interested, as well as more willing to protect it. Ann Voskamp writes in One Thousand Gifts that, "Naming things is Edenic."  Because this world is a gift to us, and the entity that sustains our life through air, soil, water and vegetation, I believe that knowing it more intimately is a clearer window into the heart of God.



A place women who are seeking God's direction can come for study, reflection, prayer and rest, whether through Group Retreat programming or while taking a Personal Retreat. Larger women's retreats, where a speaker teaches what is on their heart, are beneficial. But I strongly support the wisdom of choosing extended, reflective times alone with God when, in the quiet, we are able to peel back our busy layers to get in touch with what the Spirit is speaking to OUR hearts at that time.



A place women in transition, who are grieving or who are perhaps "stuck" in life can come for a Personal Retreat to heal, untangle the webs, recognize patterns and see life from new perspectives. Whether you have your own agenda or need some guidance, through journaling, reflective questions creative exercises and spending time listening to your heart in solitude, you can begin moving to a greater wholeness.



A place where creativity flourishes. It would bring great joy to know that a painting was inspired by a tree, a bird or the colorful hills on the property. That a song welled up inside a musician while down by the pond. That the first chapter of a novel or The End was written by the wood burning stove some late evening. I would be honored to further that process of creative energy.

So, this is my new beginning...focused, simplified and marked by gratitude and an open heart. I hope you will walk with me every now and then on this new path by checking in at the Heart by Nature Facebook Page, following this Prairie Pond Woods Blog (sign up on the left) or by taking a drive to the country and experiencing some of the above at a Group or Personal Retreat.  I'd also love to know what "new beginnings" YOU are embarking on to bring that much needed balance or "aliveness" back into your life!  Feel free to comment...



Hope to see you outside!



Cindy

WEEKEND UPDATE

Last year during the Spring Retreat the participants painted bluebird boxes to either take home or leave at Prairie Pond Woods for the following year...their creative work always on display for others to enjoy.  So today, taking full advantage of the gorgeous weather, we loaded them all up in the wagon with tools and T-posts and headed out to the prairie.

Ran into a bit of a snag with the first attempt, trying to place it near the Refresher Course trail for best observation...hit dolomite rock about 6 inches down! This is typical of prairies in Adams County. The short-grass prairies here, unlike the tall grass prairies of the Plains, have adapted to thin soils atop rock outcroppings and dry conditions. No problem...we just moved up closer to the center towards the ridge.

 

 In the east section of the prairie, I decided to go with a red & yellow theme :-)

 

 

 

In the west section of the prairie, the remaining bluebird box stands at
the turn right before you enter the pines at the upper ridge

.

Later in the early evening I decided to check the old bluebird box in the backyard attached to a utility pole.  I couldn't remember if I had cleaned it out last fall and thought I had better do that before the bluebirds start scouting.  When I opened it up, it was full to the top with moss and leaves with one small hole.  When I poked around with my finger, something snapped at it!  Something with enormous eyes and rodent-like teeth....

 

After a second observation with a stick this time (thinking that maybe I had mistaken it for a mouse), what jumped down to the ground and then up the pole was a
FLYING SQUIRREL!  

 

While on the ground I could definitely see its gliding membrane and its olive/white color. I quickly snapped a photo and then left the poor thing alone.  We may not have any bluebirds flying in the backyard this year, but I'll take it, if I can watch a family of flying squirrels instead! 

SPRING RETREAT 2013

During one of my strolls along the Refresher Course one spring, I spotted two Cedar Waxwings sitting
on a branch just above me.  I quickly noticed they were engaged
in a most interesting "dance" with each other...paying absolutely no
attention to me below! 

The
first waxwing held in its beak a small twig with a flower bud at the tip. It walked sideways about 3 or 4 steps towards a second bird, who took the twig in its beak and
side-stepped away from the first bird. Then the first bird repeated the process several more times It was an interesting courtship display and in spring these things are going on all over the place!

 

On April 26-27, Heart By Nature Retreats will host its second annual Bird Watching as Mediation Retreat. Not only are birds interesting to watch...the process can teach us how to slow down, pay attention and be present. Good lessons...

So, if you are a novice bird watcher...come learn something new.  If you are a skilled birder...come teach us something new.  Or if you have never even considered watching or learning about birds...come ask what they can teach you through the Spirit of God.

“But ask the animals, and they will teach you,

   or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you;

 or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,

   or let the fish in the sea inform you.

 

                                                                      Job 12:7-10 

NOTE:
All who attend this retreat will be invited back for

THE BIG SIT!

Visit www.heartbynature.com for more information

BIG (scary) PROJECT

This is what the front flower bed at Prairie Pond Woods 

looked like in early spring

This is what is looked like this morning.

In the 3 days that Goodseed Farm has been here at Prairie Pond Woods working on hardscaping the front flowerbed, I've learned something about myself.  I love change...change of plans, change in interior decorating, change of venue, etc...but I HATE when the landscape I've become used to changes...I don't even like it when trees fall or grow bigger.  So today I feel a bit off-balance because the front porch no longer has that same hidden, claustrophobic feel to it now that the spruce tree has been "spruced up" by cutting off dead lower branches so the crew can work freely.  Suddenly I'm a little shaky wondering what the new lines of sight will be, and feeling a bit anxious trying to conceptualize new landscape plantings that aren't like the old ones. 

But it had to be done.  The railroad ties, housing all sorts of suspicious insects (termites or flying ants?), were just about ready to crumble and burst forth.  The invasive crown vetch had won both the battles and the wars over the years.  And the soil was WAY over-populated with millipedes, which didn't like the wet weather of 2011 and the dry weather of 2012 and came seeking (in biblical proportions) the cool, moist shelter of our garage and sometimes the basement. So we signed an agreement, which stated that Goodseed would haul most of the soil away and make it pretty and we would pay them a large sum of money.

As anyone knows who has ever done any kind of project, from building a home to changing a light bulb, nothing is ever easy.  On the second day of removing dirt, the backhoe hit a huge block of solid cement.
Why it was there was anybody's guess.  The prognosis looked grim; lose a
day's work acquiring a jackhammer, add more labor costs, experience
shock & awe at what we might find underneath.  Fortunately, these were resourceful fellows and the chunk
was broken up and gingerly coaxed out by a skilled bobcat
operator using a small bucket, a forklift and a loader...in only an hour
and a half! 

 

They finally got the behemoth on his forklift
and the brave man drove backwards down the steep road 

to deposit in an open area to be dealt with later. 
Whew!

STAY TUNED!

They'll be here all week folks!

A DAY OF QUESTIONING

In the
New Testament it is recorded that Jesus
asked over 170 questions to those he came in contact with.  Conversely, it is documented that Jesus was asked 183 questions…only 3 of
which he answered directly!  An interesting observation, especially in this day of bombastic religious leaders telling their flocks what to believe from top to bottom.  Many questions Jesus “answered” with another question. 
Obviously, he knew what it has taken therapists and spiritual
directors centuries to learn – that asking questions is more effective at getting
to the real answers than merely telling someone what to think or do. 

 One of
my favorite quotes is from Blaise Pascall, a 17^th Century
mathematician, philosopher and physicist:

All (wo)men's miseries derive

from not being able to sit

in a quiet room alone. 

 

So that's what a small group of souljourneying women did this past weekend...asked and answered some of those same questions Jesus put forth to those he encountered.  Questions like, "What are you thinking in your hearts?" and "Did not the Maker of the outside also make the inside?" - dealing with our tendency to care more about the externals rather than live as integrated, whole people.

One of my greatest joys, and my calling, is to provide that kind of solitude for women. My prayer is that through the stillness, the Spirit will bring healing, God will confirm the desires of their hearts and they will claim their true callings in order to transform the world.



As they sat down (in the quiet outdoors) with 5 questions, they took the time needed to peel back the layers of our
minds and hearts. Below are a few suggestions I gave them to
help begin and follow through with the questions.  It is a powerful exercise to sit with a list of meaningful questions...and hold them in your heart until answers come.

1. Before answering each question, begin by reciting to God the centering prayer you created for a few minutes. Try keeping your eyes open…


2. Sit in at least two different places as you answer the five questions to give yourself a change of perspective.


3. Start the process for each question by doing 5 minutes of free-writing. Write whatever comes to your mind, without regard for spelling, grammar and topic and without stopping or taking pen off paper.


4. As thoughts come to you, continue to ask yourself more questions. Use the old Who, What, When, Where and Why prompts to expand the thoughts you have.

BIRTHDAY GETAWAY

For my birthday in late September, I attended The Arc of Appalachia Preserve’s semi-annual Women’s Retreat. 
Even a retreat owner needs a change of venue at times and I was
interested both in surrounding myself with beautiful scenery, as well as seeing
how another organization conducts their women’s retreats.





 

 

The scenery did not disappoint and was, in fact, surprisingly
colorful.  On the last weekend in September,
the foliage appeared to be at peak brilliance, at least in that part of
Hillsboro.  We hiked through their “accidental
prairie” (prairie seed purchased by a supporter after someone accidentally sprayed
the field with herbicide), with Canada goldenrod, New England and New York
Asters in full bloom.  We then entered
the woods, eventually walking along the dolomite cliffs above the Rocky Fork River. 

The gathering was advertised as a “retreat designed to give
an expansive time for rest and self-nurture,” so there was no programming per
se.  There were offerings of morning yoga,
a daily hike and massages throughout the 3-day retreat (for a reduced fee).  So while there wasn’t an opportunity to see
how they facilitate a directed retreat, I did pick up a few ideas that might be worth
trying.

One of those ideas is their shared meal – not just in the
partaking of it – but also in the preparing of it.  Three recipes – an entrée and two side dishes
– were assigned to three groups who prepared them from a bag filled with
ingredients, pans, knives and directions. 
It was very efficient and fun to do. 
Our group worked on the Fruity Coleslaw Salad, which was wonderful,
except it needed a bit of salt. :-)

The other idea, which we would consider if we remodel or
build at Prairie Pond Woods in the future, was their composting
toilet.  It was completely odorless, and
fit nicely in the large 12-person, restored hunting lodge from the early 1900’s.  It goes to show that technology and design
will come together to make more and more sustainable products in the future,
especially if folks are willing to pay a bit more to buy or use them.

My goal for this retreat was to continue to read through TheArtist’s Rule and do the suggested exercises of poetry writing, prayer and
art-play. The other goal was to walk down the road to find an open spot for viewing the Full Harvest (Birthday) Moon, which a few of us did on Saturday night.  And while sitting on the porch
swing I did managed to write a poem…the first birthday poem I
have ever written.

September 29

Today is my 56^th
birthday;

a cold-cloth-on-a-forehead kind of day

where there is nothing to do but

breathe deeply and happily dream.

I was born at 3:27 in the afternoon.

A week later, as the story goes, Don

Larson pitched a perfect game for the Yankees,

while my dad held me and my mother slept.

Is this why I married a
baseball fanatic?

Is this why I slowly come alive in the afternoon?

Is this why autumn often moves me to tears?

Perhaps while lying on my
father’s lap, his

anticipation transferring to me, I looked out

the window to see a hundred red, gold and

orange mobiles, and fell in love with life.